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Saying the right thing

Posted by Howard Denson on June 9, 2017 at 10:20 AM


By HOWARD DENSON

ONE OF MOTHER’S FRIENDS has dropped by for a visit, and a child goes up to her and asks, “Is it true, like Mama tells Daddy, that you’ve slept with every man in town?”

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It takes time for a child to learn that there are certain things that you just don’t say.

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When that child is seventy years old and president of the U.S., it is mind-boggling.

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Normally, when one reaches the Oval Office, he becomes an effective communicator. Some are like FDR, JFK, Reagan, Clinton, and Obama and make observers jealous of their abilities. Most are like Truman, Ike, LBJ, Nixon, and the Bushes—able to deliver a good speech, but uneven overall.

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Die-hard defenders of Trump engage in sophistry as they whistle past the cemetery wherein DT’s crypt is located: “He’s brilliant, really great in reaching the people, outstanding.”

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Of course, he’s not.

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He’s a con artist, a freak-show hawker, shouting anything to the masses to get them to surrender their dollar and come inside to see the two-headed mermaid. He’s the deal-maker who says Anything to close the deal. Lies aren’t just second nature to him. They are first, second, through tenth nature.

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What compounds his problem is that he used to be able to get away with lies, a little bluster here, some school-yard bullying there, and he gets his way. When things didn’t work out, all right, he’d have to pay, say, ten cents on the dollar.

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This creature in the Oval Office has more in common with the child blurting out embarrassments than to other gentlemen who have occupied his position. One difference: The child was not lying but trying to clarify something Mama said.

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He simply is unable to come up with the right words. Why? Because all words have to be about him, and he will say anything to make himself look good.

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Dubya Bush was not noted for being eloquent. He was screwing up regarding Katrina. He was telling Brownie he was doing a great job when he wasn’t. After September 11 and Dubya’s visit to the disaster site, the media began giving him points for saying the right thing and doing the right thing. Mayor Rudy Giuliani earned even higher points for his ability to say the right thing.

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At the time, I wasn’t impressed by their words—which were so-so at best. I did recall a time when I couldn’t find the right words. A colleague would lose a parent, and I’d immobilize myself because I didn’t know the right words to say.

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When we siblings lost our own parent and went through the visitation experience at the funeral home, I learned that practically any words will do: “I’m sorry for your loss,” “he was a good man and we’ll miss him,” “hang in there, things will get better for you,” etc. Anything from the heart was just fine.

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I got to wondering what Dubya or a mayor could have said that would be totally inappropriate, and it took a long time to come up with an example. The unsuitable words would have to come from, say, Andrew Dice Clay, the persona created by the macho comedian: “Wow, look at that. I bet those firefighters and cops are nothing more than a smear of mayonnaise now.”

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Righteous howls of protest about insensitivity would rattle the windows of Manhattan, even though the Dice man might have been 100 percent correct.

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Children have the ability to mature and to learn new skills. As they become young or older adults, they note wise sayings: “The shame is not in falling down but in failing to get up,” etc. When Nixon narrowly lost the 1960 election to Kennedy, he engaged in a fearless inventory of his skills . . . or lack thereof. He bottomed out when he lost to Pat Brown in the race to be governor of California (“you won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore” ).

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But he got better before the TV cameras and was able to win the 1968 nomination and then the presidency (all the while avoiding any debates).

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Trump has yet to show that he can learn anything new, and that means America is in trouble.

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"I'm sorry you lost your mother, kid. It must hurt, but your hurt, everyone's hurt, would be a lot worse if I died."

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--30--

 

 

 

 

Categories: The Human Comedy or Tragedy

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